Dec 122013
 

PAGE 32

Writer’s Bottom Rash (1)

I have a run of late nights, perfecting my synopsis. At four in the afternoon the day before I do the Foundation class, I drag myself away from my PC and rush over to Boots.

- I’ve got a red rash on my bottom and I’m life-modelling tomorrow morning. What can you give me to make it go away?

She consults with the chemist and comes back. They ought not to give me something, I should go see the nurse first.

- Gosh, you must be very brave, she adds.

I race to the surgery on my bicycle. Amazingly I get to see the nurse within minutes.

- Hmm. Doctor needs to check this. It’s late opening tonight, go to the desk and ask to see someone.

I get an appointment. I come back to the surgery at seven in the evening. I flip up my skirts, pull my knickers down. My rash flashes red in his face. It turns out that sitting at my PC for far too many hours in recent weeks has created a sweaty micro-climate between my skin and the spongy seat of my desk stool, enabling bacteria to thrive in the hair follicles of my bottom.

I am prescribed antibiotics. It will not be gone by morning.



This week’s topic

32. Has photography damaged us?

Our local lad David Hockney thinks so.
Click on the above question to add your thoughts to the end of the thread.

Or see here for the full list of discussions on life-drawing and Life to be found on my blog.

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Noticeboard

1. Christmas is upon us!
Go to my Suki’s theme tunes page, scroll down, and click one by one on the two carols sung by German choirboys. Swoon. And then for the grand finale (maybe save this pleasure for Christmas Eve), click on ‘Let all mortal flesh keep silence’.

2. Book now for A WEEK ON SATURDAY, 21 December 2013 at Suki’s Life Room, Bradford (UK): me doing a six-hour classical ‘Madonna and child’ pose (!), £18 full day, or £6 per two hours: 9.30-11.30am, 12 noon-2pm with soup lunch thrown in, or 2.30-4.30pm. Mulled wine (and non-alcoholic hot punch) and seasonal fayre served all day. Bookings: [email protected]

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Artist of the week

PAUL KEEN studied Art and Design (Harrogate, London) and worked in design (London) then in his native Yorkshire as a freelance designer and illustrator with national and international clients. Art has always been his major passion. Paul attends life classes (the above work-in-progress was produced at the Dean Clough,life class, Halifax, UK) as ‘the best method for developing skill-based art’, believing that the figure is a starting-point for study, [though] the enormous challenge it presents is also an end in itself. Paul is happy to quote on any prospective graphic design work and is able to email samples of work if you are looking for a professional design service. [email protected]


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